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I can hear mother calling from the landing;
she doesn’t know that you’re not alive.
Last night, you were here; now, you’re gone.
Father fucked you, and he took your life.
Before it happened, you had horrifying visions
of scorched engine oil and pools of blood,
so you resolved to enshrine yourself in darkness
in gallant effort to embrace the light.
On the shore, your body lies wrapped in plastic.
Underneath, your skin is soft and white.
Locks of gold caress your gentle facade,
your beauty serene and beaming bright.
But now, I know why sometimes your arms bend backwards,
and I hear the tender music in the air.
Even still, I cannot bear the things you’ve been through:
the pain and suffering that consumes us whole.
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On the morning of your death,
a lonesome foghorn blew.
Before the news broke, I knew.
I clenched my fist; I felt my flesh.
On the morning of your death,
the rivers shuddered upstream.
A one-armed man was in my dream.
I clutched my wrist; I held my breath.
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Cold metal poles:
lights flicker green to red.
Clutching the handlebars,
I peeled off into the night.
I should have known better:
you were never mine;
there were things about you.
Laura disappeared; it’s just you now.
Old logging roads:
your hands around my neck,
you screamed you loved me.
I looked into your eyes, and they were clear
with a penetrating sadness
running deeper
than I ever could have known.
Let’s get lost together; it’s just this now.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
And when I find you,
you will know me:
you have seen me
each night in dreams.
And I’ll be all that
you had imagined.
We will be going
where nothing hurts.
Ecstatic fanfare
will greet us when we get there.
We’ll be everything we need
when I find you.
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5. |
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But don’t you know
that you cannot erase
what’s been done?
Pain and loss
are all that remain;
her spirit has spun.
Spiral out;
hold yourself.
Mark these words:
forgive no one.
Cast your shade.
Call your name.
Pierce your tongue.
Change your shape.
What can be said
of what remains
of this heart?
Cast into searing flames;
buckshot filled;
and burst apart.
Ghostly visions
by night
of the man
crushing down:
his ashen hands
on my mouth,
his fingers’ soot
muffle the shouts.
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6. |
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7. |
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Laura, you can’t change
what’s been done,
but you can take the blame from me.
For tomorrow will come;
you’ll be gone,
But tonight, could you lay with me?
‘Cause don’t you know
we can be what ever shape we seek
in that formless, weightless sleep?
But don’t you weep;
tomorrow, you’ll be free.
Don’t you weep;
hold fast your heart to me.
Laura, we are frail
and afraid.
Our soft skin trembles at the thought
of eternal happiness.
But there’s no hell when you die;
there is only bliss.
‘Cause don’t you know
we are free to wander where we please in that
painless, sweet release?
So, don’t you weep;
tomorrow, there is peace.
Don’t you weep.
al;sdkjfas;ldfkhg;adslfj
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8. |
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9. |
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Laura, all of this pain
is just a pulse
that beats inside my brain.
We can turn it inside-out
and begin again.
We control our own fate.
But I would give my life to you
if that would make you stay.
Give me one more night
before you go away.
Laura, you’ve determined your fate
and resolved to die:
it’s your only escape.
So, the passing of time will assuage
and numb the pain of your absence each day,
and in due time, we’ll grieve the loss.
Each time your ghost climbs our spines to our thoughts,
we’ll hold you close in our hearts
and remember, dear,
how you showed no fear.
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10. |
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Can you hear mother
calling from the landing?
Pull the curtains back.
Let the light caress your skin.
Even though the night is long,
the pain of darkness always yields.
Leave the past as it lies
and glide into the present day.
Rub the sleep from your eyes
and feel the air fill up your lungs.
Drink the glow. Bask a while.
You are safe within your arms,
for the nightmares have
passed; you are young and alive.
Out of darkness, let us sprawl
and shed these callous, hollowed shells.
We can fade from summer’s rays
and fall like leaves out on the cracks.
Untethered from our silhouettes,
we’ll lift ourselves out of the past.
But when we wake on the first freeze,
we’ll see our breath upon the glass.
We will die on New Year’s Day,
our bodies frozen in the snow.
Everything that has been,
it will be; it will be.
Everything that we’ll be,
we have been and will be
allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllways.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
But I can see you clearly now,
and I know that there’s no end: there is only this.
And I swear that I will keep your secrets safe in my heart
if you give me this chance at all.
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Beginning in January 2023, as I resigned myself to an ongoing confrontation with an abundance of unresolved attachment and sexual trauma from my childhood and adolescence, I experienced a renewed interest in LAURA. Even from the record's debut in October 2020, I held intentions to revisit the mixes and provide some much-needed sonic updates in a few moments that I felt had failed to live up to my expectations; however, in the face of the mounting enormity of my emotions as I sought to interface with and integrate my experience, the lyrics and the narrative of the album began to reflect more than ever on my life rather than that of the title character. Bearing this in mind, my initial efforts to improve instrumental clarity naturally segued into poetic renovations and reimagination; the result of that nine-month process is the product which we now present. Coming in solidarity with the ten digitally enhanced tracks are two diaristic pieces written in reflection on the record. One of these is a short essay regarding the narrative concept of the album as it relates to my vision; the other is a collection of seven short memories that serve as the inspiration for the lyrics. Even more, it seems fitting in the spirit of bluntness and honesty to share with you the private notes that I had written for my collaborator Danilo and myself that had once accompanied the music and acted as an artistic guide before the project inevitably grew into its own childhood.
We hope you enjoy. -- DCB
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LAURA (2023 REMASTER) is the debut studio album from Carlo dell'Aquila.
If you would like to reach out to us for any reason at all, we welcome that, and we would love to hear from you. Our primary mode of communication is Instagram. Our handle is carlo_dell_aquila.
www.instagram.com/carlo_dell_aquila/
We can also be reached via email. Our email addresses are as follows. (Be sure to replace each "(at)" with an @ symbol.)
for.love.of.carlo(at)gmail.com
j.nigh.mangram(at)gmail.com
LAURA is conceived and written by Dylan C. Beck; composed, performed, engineered, and recorded by Dylan C. Beck and Danilo Uomo; and produced, mixed, and mastered by Dylan C. Beck with words written by Dylan C. Beck (inspired by characters, events, and dialogue created by David Lynch and Mark Frost) and instruments programmed or performed by Dylan C. Beck and Danilo Uomo.
Recorded primarily from May 2019 to September 2020 at 904 Westport Central, the Cats' Room, and the Theater of Dreams in Kansas City, MO; the Puppy Palace, the Meow Treehouse, and South Palisades Repository and Day Spa in Springfield, MO; and CoMO Country Home in Columbia, MO. Other field recordings were captured at Hostel Orange in January 2016 in Prague, Czech Republic, Van Bilderass House of Party in May 2019 in Fayetteville, AR, and the Lake House in September 2019 in Lake Saint Louis, MO. Vocal rerecording took place in October 2023 at West 36th.
Mixed from January to October 2023 at West 36th.
We extend our deepest gratitude to all involved in the process of making this record. We are forever indebted to MP, KT, ME, GC, TB, BK, JK, JB, JG, and JN for allowing us into their homes to record.
released October 23, 2023
Dylan C. Beck: vocals, Fender Duo-Sonic, Indiana Scout, Squier Mustang Vibe, Fender Mustang PJ, drums, Baldwin Hamilton, Casio CT-X700, Casio CTK-4400, Wurlitzer Funmaker, orchestral bells, Tudor TD185 soprano recorder, LG LW1516ER air conditioner, field recordings, lyrics, drum programming, synth programming, production, mixing, mastering, photography, cover artwork, website design, typography, band photography, companion literature
Danilo Uomo: horns, Casio LK-55, Casio SA-75, perpetuity
Justin Kingery: band photography
Brittany Kingery: additional band photography
Michelle Pellegrino: additional website design
